Dino War Machine Finished

Finally finished. Ok, temporally finished would be a better way to describe it, because I am still going to make a glass and brass egg for the Machine.

But that is next years work.

I am now officially suffering from project fatigue.

I made the pictures slightly bigger than normal when you click on them, for more detail.

All the components pre assembled. I made this thing so that everything can be disassembled.

Everything can be unscrewed. This is so that cleaning and polishing is easier when tarnish sets in, as it will, even though it has a clear coat of lacquer on it.

It took me 3 days to polish everything.

Sometimes I REALLY miss apprentices.

A total of 375 different hand made pieces.

Everything is hand made, including the nuts, bolts and washers.

Total time spent building, 182 hours.

Weight just shy of a kilogram.

Height 200mm.

Length 300mm

Showing the under cooling system.

Side view of the head. All those copper guns and rings can be unscrewed.

The eyes were very difficult to get right.

I made them seven times over. In onyx, then perspex then gold, then 3 different silver shapes, until I got this one.

Eventually I settled on blackening them with Liver of Sulphur, and screwing them on with a 14kt gold screw. The screw key made a nice 'cat eye' effect, I thought.

Fracking mission, though

Incoming enemy aircraft about to be sent to the next dimension.

The gears on the back look red, but that is just a reflection of all the copper parts.

Top view.

The tail is articulated. It uses the same design as the GRS spring tweezers do, for those goldsmiths reading this.

That is a ball clamped between two plates. Thanks GRS!

A close up of the back spines. The spines screw into the back, holding the spine in place.

Picking this machine up is like picking up a hedgehog.

Promise, on a number of occasions I have pricked myself that blood flows.

There might not have been tears, but certainly blood and sweat.

A close up of the main Gatling gun.

It swivels up and down and sideways also.

The secondary gun.

The one that shoots plutonium bullets, making the vanquished enemy corpses glow in the dark.

Commin' at ya sideways, baby......

Waxes, Cast Rings, Shells and Gears

I carved these three rings in Matt purple wax.
I also have been making moulds of shells and injecting gears.

They were cast into silver.
Silver is the easiest metal to cast for me, so much so that I cast three master wax patterns in one flask.
Casting masters simultaneously in one flask can be very dumb because you can lose them all with a miss-cast.
So I'm dumb and lucky........
I cast an anti-ox alloy in a solution of 95% to 5% alloy.
I have a couple of experimental CZ's one with a gold ball in it and another with a platinum ball in it and one that is cut in a three colour laminated opposed bar cut.
These will be set in these rings.
Does that make sense?
Anyway, if it doesn't, go back to where it is where all was shown.

I try to cast business with pleasure, so if I get a order to cast a specific thing, then I tag along a art-stroke-project cast along with it.
A bit like hitching a ride on the back of a freight train, if you get my drift.
Anyway, the two shells were brought to me from a good customer of mine, and I made a silicone mold from them using Zero D's clear silicone.
Look, I like the product, but I could use a bit more clarity.
It is a bit opaque to call it clear, really.
Otherwise, a very cool silicone.

And at the same time I cast a new set of gears that will be used in my Dino War Machine project.
The gears are cast out of brass, the shells were cast out of 14kt gold and the rings out of silver.
A multiple metal cast that required lots of cleaning up of the machine in between casts.
And speaking of the Dino project, I was asked/told by several people that in no way am I to stop posting about incremental advances during the project.
Okay, so for what it's worth............

The gears being burnt out and about to be cast.

I always put the crucible in the oven with the correct amount metal in it.

This is especially handy with brass, because the trick with casting such a volatile metal is to melt it to liquidity without the zinc fuming.

But it is also a good thing to do generally with all metals. ( that is, of course, if you spin cast)

The zinc tends to fume quickly if the torch is too hot, so when I pre-heat the whole crucible/metal thing, there is a more overall heat around everything.

This makes it easier to bring everything to temperature without fuming and spitting and fracking.

Dino War Machine gears at the moment of birth, ready to do battle against the forces of darkness and destruction.

Trust me on this one.

Jewellery and Dino Stuff

Another St Maarten Map. One of my best sellers.
White gold background and fused yellow gold on the edges.
The top side is the french side of the "permanent lunch time"
and the bottom side is the place of the " jacuzzi sized pot holes".
Ha Ha , I no joke, mon....

A bi-metal men's wedding band. of all the men's jewellery I make and sell, this has also got to be my best design.
And you know, it does look good on a guy.

There's this SA hottie that comes into my shop with tears in her pretty blue eyes.
One of the local sweat shops had engraved the compass that she wanted to give to her boyfriend like this.
A complete frack up. The guy forgot the 'I' so he put it in afterwards.

I don't engrave, so she decided to have her message done like this.
Silver relief letters on a crishy back ground.

The Dino War Machine has had a lot more work added to it.

The head has had extensive work done on it.
And two secondary Gatling guns have been added.

These Gatling guns are able to fire multiple war ordinances.
From nerve gas bullets to expanding flettchet rounds, each is capable of firing up to 600 rounds per second.
This tends to reduce the enemy to a fine mist.
And in that form they become less dangerous.

The side and rear firing abilities have been enhanced by modification to the phosphor bronze projector at the tip of the tail.

The outer tips are based on the Trioxinol Five theory, which dictates that all plans for war change when war commences.
Thus each tip is able to pierce the fog of war, and in the heat of battle, collectively they are able to guide the Dino War Machine to wreak the maximum of damage with the minimum of energy expended.

The head has been fitted with a mamba venom gun on each side.
These are able to fire a stream of armour piercing venom at hardened enemy targets.
This venom can be changed from, as the name suggests, mamba venom to hydrofluoric acid during firing operations.
The obsidian eyes are still being constructed.
They will be optical receptors that work from the infra red to the gigahertz wavelengths.

A rear view showing the gas emitter tubing.
This is able to emit a cloud of toxic gas over the enemy.
It must be understood the the Geneva Convention does not apply to this machine.
The object of this machine is to kill the enemy, finish and klaar.

This shows the battle ground adjustments that can be carried out by this machine.

In this picture it is fine tuning the plasma receptor.

With a giant sigh of relief, the remaining enemy watch the machine walk away, searching for new foe to vanquish.

This is then the basic machine.

The spine on the back still has to be manufactured and added.

For that I will cast more gears and various odds and ends in brass.

Also there are many more copper tubes, gears and whatnot's to be added.

However, I am not going to post on this project again until it is completely finished.

The machine part, that is.

The reason is that it is painful to post on increments.

Like if you building a house and you post on adding the bathroom tap washers....right.

The project is at around 120 hours and I expect it to take another 40 or so hours more.

That is the first phase.

Then I am going to make a frosted glass and brass egg in which this machine will reside.

In 2010. That is going to be fun.

The Dino War Machine Edges Towards Completion

Watch out! It is coming.
I finished the articulated tail today and put on the plasma transmission and receiving unit at the tip.
This is what in human terms could be called a transmitter.
Something that transmits and receives.

The receiving unit is a copper based dish with a phosphor bronze receptor.
This allows for real time transmission between the guns and head.
It is also able to fire or project (if that is a correct word ) a disruptor beam, a matter collapser, that can, at it's highest setting, kill planets.

Both move in syncro and are independent as to firing sequence. At least, they will be when I have finished building this machine.
Also, as the builder, I must apologise to my principals.
These pictures were taken under extreme conditions and are of questionable quality.
Further reports will include highly detailed pictures that will hopefully satisfy your highness' exacting parameters.

Rear firing is not a problem for this machine.
It will be, when completed, be able to fire from a 360 degree attitude, that is, from the ground to the air.
Able to penetrate solid rock, the vacuum of space and the plasma of the sun, this weapon will assure the continued survival of the human race.

This would be the incoming alien aircraft firing position.
The receptor dish at the tip of the tail is able to receive incoming information and is also able to produce a discharge of some 35 Tetra volts towards the enemy.
And I wish all of you to know, the enemy are many.
From within, on the outside, human and alien, they are there, waiting.
And, while I do not want to raise division within our ranks, it has become apparent to our main cloud computers, that the first enemy might be our own politicians.
Believe it or not!
This bears more discussion in the future.

Opal Pendant, and the Dino War Machine .

Here is a nice pendant I made today. I have done more opal work than normal lately.
I have also been making a lot of schlock jewellery, and I am not going to post it here.
No ways I put fracking front street stuff on my blog and have the whole world laugh at me.

The Dino War Machine, however, continues.

Gatling guns and some ribs and a throat spike are the latest additions.

The guns are not complete, there will still be some spikes added underneath. They also have to be cleaned up, like solder removed and fine sanding and polishing to be done.

Also the head is still in it's infancy.

Man, it still needs a lot of work.

But the tail is next.

This is something I have figured out how to make so that it will be able to be moved in any position, but it is going to need some serious elbow grease to get there.

The trick at this stage is to get everything in proportion. Even though the head is still a little bit big, I know that it will be filed down later, so that is not a problem.

I think the claws are to small at this stage, but I can add some more body to them later.

The tail will add some more weight to the back, allowing the machine to stand in a more Tyrannosaurus Rex posture.

Right now it stands like some dumb chicken at a KFC cheerleader party.

The guns are made with cartridge brass bought at my local Ace as brass rod and then rolled down to flat bar and bent round and soldered.

Then it is filed out to a six sided 'revolver' shape.

The barrels are copper and brass wire that I drew down.

Then I make the top and bottom in a 'cartridge' form.

The arms can move in any direction and they are held in place with the grooved rod in the middle and the collars with a grub screw.

The guns are attached in this manner. It is all still basic. The flanges and screws are still to be carved and filed.

Lot's of detail still to be added.

A Bangle, A Pendant, An Exibition and the Dino War Machine

Here is a nice bangle I made on commission for a lady from Scotland. Set with a Nigerian blue tourmaline that I cut last year. She also bought the blue tourmaline that I posted on in my last post, so they go nicely together.

We don't get many Scottish people on the island, mostly Americans.

Just got to love that accent. Of all the accents in English, to me Scottish is the nicest.

This is a chased/repouse and fused gold brooch set with a very nice Opal of some 8 carats.

Don't laugh! I have seen a resurgence of peace signs in the last year.

This has got to be the first fused one I have made ever, though.

I think it's cool though.

Last night we went to an art exhibition on the french side of the island.

Pretty or what! I love this blurred photo of Anne.

A piece by my buddy Doug Hazelton. It has also got a gigantic shower head in it.

This was cool. Made out of steel, it's got a post nuclear Matrix feel to it.

Weighs about 300 kilo's and the base is carved marble.

A snip at 44000 euro.

By the same artist. Also steam punkish. 14000 EU only

And the Dino War Machine continues.

I know the head looks to big, but the body is still going to have all kinds of stuff added to it.

Mean looking, not? The head swivels. I'll start the tail next week, I think.

A Rose, a Ring and the Dino War Machine

Here is a Rose pendant set with a Rhodolite garnet. The leaves are 18ct white gold.

This flower is made from an instructive video that is available here and was made by an excellent metalsmith Luis. F. Moreno. Check the benchtube videos out.

They are a wonderment.

This is an 18ct ring set with a blue tourmaline and two diamonds.

With an African flavour.

The Dino War Machine continues with breathtaking pace.

Don't kid yourself, it might be looking like a headless chicken right now, but just wait.

This is only the chassis.

The red stuff is just the iron plating out on the brass when it is quenched in an acid solution after soldering. I can get rid of it by adding hydrogen peroxide to my acid, which consists of sodium-bi sulfate but it makes the brass all crishy and I don't like that.

It is a mission to polish then and I will remove this at a later stage of manufacture mechanically.

All the guns and plasma cannons and phase disrupting devices will be added after the head and tail are manufactured.

The sides are going to have glass port holes and the inside will have lights inside.

The back is going to have energy conducting spines.

And a phased array of syncro conducing replicators.

These are the power generators of this machine, once it is finished being crafted by my hands and I declare it fully born and released to this world.

Coming to a computer near you soon.

Furtheration of the Dino War Machine

This is as far as I have got on my new Dino Egg steampunk project after 23 hours of work.
The basic legs are finished to the point that I carry on with the body head and tail.
Eventually it is going to be a Steam punk Dino War machine.
The whole thing is going to be incased in a brass and translucent egg, that closes and opens mechanically.

Check the evil feet I made.

Anyway, the 'something inside an egg' thing is not a new concept, because Faberge did that in the 1890's with his imperial eggs he made for the Tzar.
Probably the best goldsmithing skills that were ever achieved in the world. Ever.
The coronation egg, for instance was made to commemorate the 1896 Coronation of Czar Nicholas II.
It is an exquisite piece of workmanship, and the last time it changed hands, it was rumoured to be sold for $24,000,000.
The egg was at that time presented as a gift to his spouse, the Tsaritsa, Empress Alexandra Fyodorovna in 1897.
When you open it up there is a replica of the Catherine's Gold Coach of 1793.
Complete with moving wheels, opening doors, actual C-spring shocks, and a tiny folding step-stair
The only problem I got with this, is the egg thing.
I mean this Tzar guy has got big bucks, millions of people to do what he wants and he gives his wife an egg with a fancy Dinky toy inside.
I can just see it.
The next day she sends a messenger with a cleft stick to her buddy in the next door castle.
" Petrushka, you won't believe what Nicholas gave me last night"!
" A real gold coach! Why don't you bring the one Alexi gave you and we'll race them down the castle passages"?
"What say you"?
Really Nicholas, could you not think of something more feminine like the Russian equivalent of a iPod or a Guchi or even trans Siberian train holiday.

It's the same as if Bob in America has an 14kt egg made at the local Fast Fix center and that night over dinner at the local Outback restaurant he gives it to his wife Martha.
She opens it and inside is a Chevy Suburban complete with a fold-up stroller and a sticker on the back that says "I voted for change"
A little less than exciting.

The Egg and Dinosaur Project

I starts with an idea and then a kak drawing of the sort of thing I want.

Then I sort of roll and draw (as in draw plate) the metal out and bend it to the sort of shape.

Then I add a gear. These are gears I vulcanised from my gear gun and now I have them cast for my use

More are added and polished.
I have discovered that the basic foundation of any piece, be that jewellery or a steam punk piece, must be to get it precise and accurate as possible.If you frack up the foundations. you sweat all the way up to completion.

Here I have cut out a basic shape in plate brass.
These will be shaped in a more elegant form and then fabricated into a more fitting hollow shape.

This mechanical steam punk dinosaur will be an instrument of warfare.

Even though there is no head yet.......

The Time Tower is Finished

Finished.

With this piece I religiously recorded the hours I spent working on it.

A total of 203 hours of work.

It stands 300mm high by 330mm long by 180mm wide.

The wood base, which is Southern African Cherry wood, was finished yesterday and fitted into the copper and brass frame.

The brass legs and the top and bottom edifices were made here

The whole time tower consists of 354 individually made components.

Other than the bulbs, clock inserts, handle on the top and the rheostat, everything is handmade.

I started the basic frame in May this year.

Rear view.

The electrical cable will be replaced after I have finished making the display cabinets for this piece and my Gear Gun.

That is a big mission in itself.

I ordered 'U' channeling from K&S Engineering in the USA and of course I had to buy dealers quantities so I have got enough for my lifetime and yours....

Side View.

Pierced and blued titanium and brass background .

The titanium in the front and the brass are pierced out in a style I call the exaggerated curve.

It is something I have drawn since I was a child.

The sides of the tower with pierced brass and a copper background.

A close up of the junction box, where the cabling divides.

The top of one of the light towers, with pierced out brass plate that was domed and a copper sheet with a glass inlay

View from the top, showing the focusing lens.

The gear doors closed.

And the gear doors open.

The black handle on the top is connected to a dimmer switch that also functions as the on/off switch.

This is the door latch that stops the doors from opening.

The gears were cast here

Detail of the time smoothing device above the main clock face.

One of the corner clamps that hold time down and keep it in it's place.

They were wax carved, cast, then vulcanized and injected and cast again.

There are two tube guides. They were hand made out of copper and brass.

A couple of posts ago, I was asked how I achieved this texture.

Done with a 1.5mm ball frazer and a hanging motor. And an evenings sweat.

This was an enjoyable project, done in the Steampunk art genré.

I like this art form.

It allows me to use my goldsmithing skills in metals that don't break the bank.

It allows me to move into areas that I am not confident in.

This is a good thing for any metal smith, I think.

This project caused me to make many things three and on occasion even four times over before I was happy.

And because everything is bigger than jewellery, the re-work was more significant, and therefore the angst factor in relation to the cheapness of the metal was quite high.

I thought it would not be the case, but when you about to frack a section up that costs $10 in metal but took 20 hours to make, you sweat, believe me.

My next project after the display cases, is going to be a steam punk type dinosaur in an opening glass and brass egg.

The Sign Saga

I first started by removing the sign, as I have blogged before.


Fixing those letters that I had made four years before was only marginally less work that remaking them from scratch.
They are made like this:
A wood base was cut out with a Jig saw.
Then thermoplastic sides were added.
I used an industrial heat gun to form the thermoplastic around the wood base.
The wood forms the 'bottom' and the thermo forms the dam.
Then polyester resin is added, colored black
This makes a ridged letter, and bolts are at the same time cast in to the resin to attach the letters to the background.
So the letter stands proud from the background.

Which is a white 20mm formo plastic sheet, cut to the right size.

Which is a major mission, because my workshop is to small to set up my circular saw and electric planer, so I have to do it all by hand....

Anyway, there it is all semi-installed, with Anne's handlanger help.
Frack, that was hard work, and to add insult to injury, GEBE, the electricity non supply company went off twice today for a total of 2.5 hours.
They are the most useless (words fail) on the island.

And, not to put to a fine point on it, this was what my T shirt looked like after the work.
Sweat or what!
The shower afterwards was supreme..

Two Pendants, a Ring and the Time Tower

A pearl and jelly opal pendant that I have just completed.

And a pearl and fire opal pendant as well.

And a wedding band for him.

The time tower is nearing completion.

I have spent 197 hour working on it so far.

I have to finish the copper frame around the wood, the wood itself and some small fixtures in the front.

The rear view. Another 30 or so hours should see it finished.

Close up of the rear. Everything is handmade out of brass and copper.
The tubes run the electrical cable.

A view with the doors open. The handle on the top is the on/off switch and the light dimmer.

Of Sunsets, Signs and Cockroaches

Sunset from the top of my shop building.

Nice one.

I have to fix a few thing around the shop.

And I am not talking about jewellery.
My sign was one.

Taken off, and a major grill mission, believe me.....

Rotten wood and all.

I had made it out of resin and plastic and wood.

And so here I am re-resin-ing and re painting the letters.

In fact, I have been doing this the whole week long.
I figured it would only last about two years in this hostile environment here at the coast.
So I got 4 and a half years out of it. Not bad.
But the wood is all rotten and soft, so it was a real nausea to take off.
I hate the feel of rotten wood.
It's like if you walking in the woods and you stand on a log and your foot goes right through it .
And you foot hits mush, and all creepies crawl out.
Cockroaches and earwigs.

Believe me, I have kept spiders and scorpions and snakes for pets all my life.
Ok, maybe not snakes anymore, because Anne is shit scared of them.
But for me to catch and pickup a snake is no problem. Or a scorpion, or a spider.

But cockroaches just do me in.

I hate the 'snap' sound they make when you stand on them.

So I don't anymore.
There is not one fracking cockroach in my workshop.
I layed down a Napalm Radioactive Layer of poison down when I moved in and that solved all problems.
But we still get these big 3 inch ones that fly in at night.
They actually outside ones but if they inside, they'll park off no problem.
They always solitary, and they real eeeuuw stuff.
I put a disposable cup over them and then and then I slide a sheet of paper under the cup.
Then I rain a death rain of poison on them from a spray can.
And I throw all of it in the rubbish bin.
Then I wash my hands. Twice.

I read somewhere that banana peals drive cockroaches away.
I think it was in one of those house hold tips in a house-wife's-corner in the local newspaper.
I can just imagine a house full of banana peels.

You'll need rugby boots to walk down the passage.
All the cockroaches are gone but every fruit fly in the neighbourhood is having a party.
Something to do with the gas that rotting fruit releases.

The gas attracts fruit flies, I believe.
And fruit flies just love rotting bananas, because there is that saying from my friend James Clark that goes:
"Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana".
I mean, fruit flies are far better than cockroaches but they can still piss me off because they get into my wine glass.
What do you do when you see two fruit flies in your wine?
Obviously pissed?
Do you dip your finger in and scoop them out and drink the wine? When no-one's looking.
Or do you throw the wine away, and pour a new glass?
And if it is expensive wine?
Or your last glass of wine on a Sunday night?

Reminds me of a story, all this insect stuff

We were sitting in Monte-Mart tea shop in Kudu Arcade in Pretoria in the late seventies.

One of the hotties, called Laetitia, ordered a salad and when all the food arrived at our table, everyone tucked in.
Halfway through, Laetitia SHRIEKS at the top of her voice.
She was a dramatic chick.
Anyway, there in her salad, is half a cockroach.
The front half.
And the legs are still waving around.

Begging forgiveness.

So Rob, the owner, hears this commotion and he comes to the front.
Tries to calm Laetitia.
"Look!" she shrieks, "It's still alive!"
"Well" Rob says, "at least you know it's fresh"

We fell about laughing, but Laetitia was not amused at all, I'm afraid.

Sigh-- women can be so hard to please sometimes......

Stolen Ego and Starter Motor.

Coming from Africa, I can't even remember how many things have been stolen from me.

Hi fi's, electrical tools, motorbikes, toolboxes, list is very long, even if could remember half.

One that I remember well, though was my very favourite part of my Ego.

My Syncro.

I spent many hundreds of hours and many thousands of bucks on her. It was the last of the VW 4 wheel drive buses that VW had made.

I handmade all the outside fixtures , a hot shower system, solar panels, electrical fridge, double bed, six tyres and dual batteries, coils, alternators, water pumps etc etc

And 140 litres of petrol and 80 liters of water.

A real tough bush vehicle.

And then one night, as we and our friends were walking out to go and eat out at a excellent restaurant, she was stolen.

Gone, just like that.

We had noticed a car with gentlemen of dark complection behind us, and it turns out they were following us.

Casing us out to see where they could attack us.

As it was, Ann and I stopped in my buddies drive-way and luckily we were inside the house when they struck.

Major bummer.

So when we got to St Maarten, we bought a small cheapo pickup for trapping around in.

( I mean the island is fracking small)

Which I tie to a pole every night.

And I remove the steering wheel every night as well.

And I drilled and riveted the number plate number in three sides of the pickup.

And I made a hidden battery cut off switch.

And I acid etched the number plate number in the windscreens.

And I have a steering lock on the pedals.

And the spare tyre is chained to the car.

And there are special wheel nuts so you can't remove the tyres.

Paraniod?

You betcha..

So this morning I get in and the car won't start.

FRACK, can you believe it ?

The caribs stole my starter motor.

Luckily, I could buy a new one---$400 later.

We push started the car and I rode it into town, let it idle outside the spares shop, bought the starter, and when back to fit it.

Made sure I didn't stall the car.

I stamped it with my name.

Then I remounted it with stainless steel cap bolts.

And then I ground the faces of the bolts flat, so they cannot be removed without a major mission.

The way I figure it, the starter motor is brand new, and I'll worry how to remove it if and when that happens....fracking thieves.

Time Tower Stuff

Okay, so this is actually a technical blog, more for documenting the stuff that I make.
At least, that is how is started out.
So like the travel stuff has ended. Unfortunately...
So here we go....
I been working on the Time Tower these last couple of days.
This picture is with one of the watch movements that I bought in the USA.

I put the power feed into it. I want the lights to be variable .

So I disassembled a dimmer switch and made a custom perspex box and fitted it into the top.
It is going to get a big stop-cock handle on it.
Still to be made.

Rear entry. Power, that is...
I made this custom and wraped copper wire around it.
Gives the Steam Punk look, which is what this project is about, after all.....

These are the custom made fittings I made for the power entry.

The first attempt at bending brass tubing was a bit less than successful.
I used a small pipe bender and it kinked the tubing.

So what I did it to take Bismuth metal, melt it and pour it into the brass tubing.

This is a low melting alloy available here.

Then when it's cold, I bend it.

Then I melt it out again.

Bingo, done.

No kinks.

Birds and a Whinge and a Sign

This is a picture of Arnold, the Great blue Heron.

He used to hang around the pond outside the flat in the early morning and evening in Lake Worth.

We did not do much birding at all through out the trip, unlike the fanatical birders we used to be.

In South Africa, our team The Chobe Chaulkers, held the southern African record for the most birds identified in a 24 hour period (290) for quite a few years....Ahem.

Anyway, for my records as well, this trip produced, in no particular order:

Canadian Goose

Great blue Heron ( by the flat)

Tri-Coloured Heron (by the flat)

Kildeer

Blue jay

Tufted Titmouse

Red breasted Gross beck

Red bellied Woodpecker

Cerulean Warbler

Horned Lark

Eastern Meadowlark

Red tailed Hawk

Monk Parakeet

Mottled Duck (by the flat)

Little Blue Heron ( by the flat)

Northern Cardinal

Osprey

Redshoulderd Hawk

Blue grey Gnat catcher

Belted Kingfisher

Anhinga

Boat tailed and common Grackle

Brown Pelican

White Ibis (by the flat)

American Crow

House Sparrow

Turkey Vulture,

Northern Mockingbird

Common Moorhen (by the flat)

Brown Thrasher

Doves: Mourning, Eurasian Collared and Common Ground

and of course Feral.

A rather slim list, unfortunately.

Back on the island, there was plenty material to make a fat whinge about.

This is the condition of the road to Mary's Boon and Horny Toad.

So the cars drive on the pavement of the building. which is well and truly getting fracked-up.

Or is that cracked-up?

You may rest assured the the chief chickens in the government will not fix it up.

A Caribbean Grackle taking advantage of a the standing water---eeeuuuwww.

I assume this sign is there because the store is near a school.

At least, there were a few of those old pre World War 1 yellow school buses they have here as well standing around.

I wonder what frack-wit nanny thought that one up.

Like what is the difference between 100 and 110 feet?

Do cops walk with tape measures on their belts, like carpenters?

Like pupils ever have trouble getting booze or drugs at school if they want to.

I suspect that the sign-making adults suffer from amnesia, or were SUCH prissy's all their time was spent schloeping up to the teachers.

And writing up signs afterwards.

I do vaguely remember that kind of presence in some of my classes too.

Just saying.......

Of The Last Day In America.

Thing is, I like uncertainty.
I like the not knowing what tomorrow is bringing or where I will be.
But I am afraid that is not what reality is all about.
So we came back to St. Maarten.
Sigh...
If you got a slow connection, don't click the start--it's a 9 meg file...
I like America more than St. Maarten.

Coming back to Miami, for my SA readers, this is the average American highway.
At 80 miles, that's just under 120 k's.
And none of the SA duck and dive--- all flickers and polite and serious and cool.
Mostly, anyway

My lady love.
On the way home after the Outback, just clowning around in an empty parking lot on our last night in America.
Don' make no difference, she be beaut.

Blurred or not, she photo good.
Still my favourite, after nineteen years.....( the women, not the picture :)
I really like this crishy pic.
Crisp paper and all.

So we got to Ft. Lauderdale airport.
Then we dropped of the car. So we were car-less.
And then there is this fancy tele thing, which did not work to phone for the courtesy bus.
Frack--- so we used the cell phone, and the bus eventually picked us up.
So much for fancy.

We stayed a t a Comfort Inn--at $99 per night.
The first thing was the airco's cover dropped off.

Then the tap fell off AND THERE WAS NO HOT WATER .
FRACK!
I did not want to move to another hotel, so I had a Boot Camp Shower and shave.

And the carpets were voking vuil.. 99 fracking bucks per night, nogal...
But it was not all bad.
We had a great chow at the Outback restaurant.
Walking distance. So we could drink and drive, if you get my drift.
This is a chain group and they make some seriously lekker chow.
A bit like the 'Meet and Eat' in Pretoria in the old days.

Not only are the gonna whip your ass, they gonna tell you how much you will pay-- to the last 50 cents...



And in this one they REALLY gonna whip your ass. ( click for big)
You got to figure how careful this bushbaby was to cross that intersection.....
Like that is a flight ticket to St Maarten and back...
Piss me off seriously if I got bust, make no mistake.

Last Two Days

Thanks to sasseriansection who posted a link in my Kennedy Space Center post comments, concerning our dilemma about the Toll roads.
Thanks, dude, much appreciated.

In Delray there was a dollhouse exhibition. I like miniature things and in SA Anne and I once went to one in Jo'burg. I was amazing, because those ones were all made by hand, from real marble-topped dressers to proper china teapots 6mm high
This one a bit disappointing because most of the miniature artifacts were store bought and made in china, instead of being made out of china.
Still, there were some nice models.

There was also, in the museum a Barbie doll display.
Now, before I ruin my reputation permanently, I WILL say that I do have an interest in Barbie dolls.
But not because I like playing with them, thweetie.
Checkout http://midgesmind.blogspot.com/
Seriously cool chick.

One thing in America is when they do something, they do it once and well. Not like in St. Maarten where there is never enough time to do the job properly the first time, but always enough time to come back and do it again.

" Hey Joe, my fax machine is broken. Can I text you the sign ?"

Yesterday we went to the Ikea showroom. Anne wanted to go.
I don't know if they in SA, but they are a component furniture manufacturer.
You get the stuff disassembled in boxes, and once you realize that the instructions cannot be figured out, you throw the boxes away and you go to a proper furniture store and by the stuff finished made...just kidding
It's all tacky stuff and I use the cupboards for workshop fittings.
I would never put it in my home, promise. I know, that's just the snob in me, but there you go....
Anyway, they got these major show rooms where they display kitchens and bedrooms and such
Like above.

And that toilet you see has got a plastic cover that says display only.
Really??
Can you imagine someone sitting down and taking a dump in the show room?
Has that ever happened?

A fracking good price for a mirror.

Checking Out The Possies

We went driving along the Florida coast.

Checking out the general scene.

I like impressive houses. Especially ones that are well kept and well designed.

Not because I envy them, or because I want to live in one, but because I always wonder why someone would want to own such a large space.

I find it fascinating, having eighteen rooms, or six bathrooms, or five toilets, set in ten acres of lawn.

I always wonder if the owner actually visits those toilets one after another, or sleeps in those bedrooms from time to time.

The amount of work that the Mexicans do on them is amazing.

Here is a floating house at the garden gate.

And a slightly different house.

We were driving down the road, and we saw this truck standing there. ( click on any picture to enlarge it)

I said that these guys used that to deliver their jewellery.

( Fracking lot of solitaires you going to deliver in there.)

Anne, being more, ah, savvy, said they use that as a mobile sign board.

She was right of course.

We went in there and spoke to a very nice lady owner and she said Boca Roton has severe signage restrictions, and so a way around it was to park a truck with signage on it to circumvent the locally strict by-laws.

This goes to show that even here, the civil servant is not allied to entrepreneurs.

This available place was the very best we found today.

$1800 per month.

100 square metres. I can cry....tears of joy...

With a 50 square meter building in the back.

And a large paved area.

Large signage on the side.

Anne spoke to the owner and he seemed a very nice guy.

Sigh, I would move in tomorrow if we had the visa.

Or if we lived in another time.

But these days, it is the bureaucracy that controls every ones life.

What can I say, except I will be back.

A boat storage place. American style!

Got to admit that beats Bobbies Marina in St Maarten....

Frack it dude, you mean NO ONE has ever mocked you at school about your surname???

Is that your surname anyway?

What planet do you live on?

The number plate is difficult to read, but it says R 7. The model of the Mazda.

Seriously cool.

An Evenful Birding Sunday

So today we decided to take a stroll (ride) down to the everglades.
They are sort of the second cousin to the Okovango Delta in Botswana, but they quite nice, if some what built up and controlled.
We wanted to do some serous birding, even though we had both birded the 'glades twice before.

The road is the inevitable tar road. Makes stopping difficult .
Anyway we arrive at the visitors center and the sign there says something like $5 per person, $10 per vehicle, etc etc.
So we say to the male blond behind the counter we want to pay for a car and can we buy a map.
"Sure thing."
"So, how long is the road"?
"About 24 miles", he says. ( here they still use miles, but sell Coke in 2 litre bottles and have a decimal currency, for my SA readers)
Cool.
We get in our car and we can't see actually where the road starts, but after driving around looking we find a road that starts

With this sign.
Well, there are buses standing around and another sign says that cyclists must stop for vehicles, so we cruise in.
I mean, we paid, so we must be authorized, right?

Very cool, actually.
We were doing some good birding, and also saying that is sort of reminded us of Botswana.
Only here you don't crack a few beers while you drive, because they lock the key up and throw you away.
So we busy checking out a Kingfisher, and as I pull away, I hear
Aaaaayyy!!!!!!
Frack, we nearly shat ourselves.
Next thing one of the Rangers that drives the Tram/Bus thing, which has pulled up behind us, walks up to us.
He is so the moer-in that you could hard-boil an egg in his butt.
"Do you know how many laws you have broken?"
"Laws, what laws?"
And then he goes into a rant and rave of how we are not allowed to drive on this road and that the police are right behind him and that basically we are in deep, deep shit.
He was ejecting spit and foam from his mouth, he was so mad.
Literally.



He stomps off and the next thing, this the cop pitches.
He like stands behind me and in a military type voice asks me,
"Is this a Renal?"
"No," I say, "it's a Volkswagen"
I wondered why he was asking me if this was a Renault.
I mean what has the fracking cars make got to do with it?
" Give me your renal 'greemnt, sir"

AHA!! a rental agreement.
We gave him our passports, St. Maarten drivers licence, international drivers licence, and renal'greement


He disappears into his flashing car and starts talking into the microphone, typing on his computer, and writing up a storm,---frack.
Another cop car pitches, light a-flashing in the everglades.


Well, the birds were certainly gone, but maybe the flashing lights would attract some mating fireflies....


After about ten minutes, he emerges and give us back our documentation.
One by one.
He then reads us the riot act.
This time he is giving us a warning. No summons, no fine. No swat team.


But if we ever do something like this again, under article frack knows what and according to act whatever, we will probably get the death penalty, if we lucky...



And now we must turn around and he will escort us back.
Being South Africans, we were hysterical with laughter as we drove back.
Although we were innocent this time, generally Sa's ask for forgiveness before permission.

Pissed off cop in authorised vehicle.
Well, it turns out that we had gone down the Tram/Bus/ cyclists route by mistake, and that the real road, which was a public road, was five miles from the entrance or the park.
'Ole blond boy-ranger at the counter forget to tell us that.
So we tootled down the main road and turned into the right road.
And after a while we hit ...


THE FIRST GRAVEL ROAD WE HAVE FOUND ON THIS TRIP!
Very cool.
Even without any beers.
Unlike in Botswana, but hey, who are we to complain.
And so the 'renal Vola became a 4x4.


Now I has written before of how I think this car is a piece of shit.
It did not take long for my theory to be proven.

As I stopped to photograph some Khaki Bos in the everglades ( can you believe that khaki bos grows here?) I looked back at the Vola and the fracking headlight was gone.
No shit.
That must have been the BANG! Anne and I heard a little way back.
We even stopped to see if any cop/ranger was stuck under the car, but unfortunately there were none to be found.

So there was a whole lot of walking and reversing and some more walking that took place.
And then, I kid you not, that pissed off cop drove past.
Evil glare and all that.
Frack him, anyway.

I found it, and I earned 50 Brownie points.
We put it on the back seat and I refitted it at the end of the gravel road.
I have never had a headlight fall out of a car, and believe me I have driven on much, much more rough roads than the video shows.

Make no mistake the glade have some pretty places.


And like this dude, all's well that ends well.
We went back, and had a brilliant meal at one of the restaurants that Lynda recommended,
( thanks Lynda :)
And like I said all's well that end well. especially if you not in jail......