Sunday, December 16, 2007

Tools That I Want Invented -Part 1

This is going to be a sequence on this blog of tools that I want the scientists to invent.

THE UNIVERSAL FILE
A variable length and pitch file that can, on demand, file from wet wax to quartz stone.

You CANNOT over or under file with this little beauty.

This file warns you when you about to over file with loud music of your choice. (Bach, Beatles Beach boys,-- but not Britney Spears)
It has a penlight battery in the handle that never goes flat and allows the file, should you inadvertently over file; to smooth the over filed metal back to its original state.
The secret of this unique file is a miniature Time Reversal Unit that, when activated by the Oh My God ! factor, allows you to cancel out the last three or four over- filed strokes. Much like hitting the back button on your computer…
This feature is unbelievably handy when you have filed a catastrophic gouge across
Mrs. Johnston’s priceless Faberge egg.

The file would have few more functions.
1. Variable pitch. As you wish, the file will change from a rough cut to ultra fine, as the situation demands.
2. Variable sharpness… From the familiar worked in one, to the new out the box ultra- sharp.
3. Variable shape. Fits the taper, fits the V shape and always files absolutely square.
4. Variable length: This feature does need some caution however:
It is not advised to change the length from needle file to 15 inch bastard, without expecting facial or body damage.

Price: A single file costs $150 with a lifetime warranty