Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Political Riff Raff


For four years these potholes have not been repaired.

I was sent an election card. To vote for a politician in St Maarten.
Now let me explain you about politicians in St Maarten.
They are the same as politicians all over the world.
Lazy, permanently false, thoroughly deluded, catatonically dumb, suspiciously deranged and categorically corrupt.
They also only crawl out from under their rocks come election time, like all politicians do all over the world.
For the rest you don't see them. Or hear from them.
I love the flying flags, the colourful banners, the promises of "we for you" and " we listen", the giant posters showing them looking you sincerely in the eye.
Photoshopped to perfection and garnished with a rich sauce of trust.
When you look at those posters you just know in your heart of hearts that she will be there by your bedside holding your hand as you slowly and happily expire from this world.
And he will gladly help you out of your financial dilemma, anytime, anywhere.
The one thing that unites all politicians regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, they all believe that they are of above average intelligence.
Therefore they will "make a difference" because they are so smart.
But when I drive around the island, I still see the potholes, unpainted roads, and open sewerage running into the lagoon.
I still experience power failures, water failures corrupt building practices.
For years and years and years.
So what exactly is new, Mr and Mrs politician.

I think that before and politician gets my vote, they must write out 10 things that they actually did to improve my life whilst they were in office.
Real actual things, not something like "draft legislation" and "future projects" that might or might not make it through Parliament.
They got beautiful houses, nice cars and live in a manner that suggests that they have an income over and above the salary they earn.
I imagine in most cases that would be true.
I think that after they have served their political term, all politicians should serve a mandatory five year jail term.
This would be to atone for the fact that they spent the previous four or five years converting my taxes to medium rare steaks and blue label whiskey.
It might actually inspire me to get off my backside and cast a vote, too.
Other wise, go away and leave me alone.
And don't send me any cards please.
This sewerage has been running for over two years.
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