Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Tale of the Three Swinging Stones--Part 1

Once upon a time in land far, far away there lived an itsty beeni teeni weeni little diamond, called 'Fraidy cat.
She was a tiny little diamond, and even though she had 57 facets, she was only 1.2 mm across.
So she was afraid of everything
At night she used to shiver in fear when the safe closed and all the other big big stones would fight and swear at each other.
"Hey diamond, you just full of black inclusions, and your mother was a piece of coal."
"Oh yeah?" "Well you can kiss my fissure, you stupid tourmaline crack head"
Such harsh language made 'Fraidy cat crouch down and hope no one wold notice her.
So she prayed and prayed for someone to save her.

And one day the safe opened and she was taken to a real workbench with warm incandescent light, and there she met Em the Gem.
He was a beautiful grass green Emerald and he came from the dark continent of Africa, all the way from a cesspool of a country called Zimbabwe.
So Em the Gem escaped from the Sandawana mine and he traveled across the ocean and straight to the third world island of St Maarten.
St Maarten also had potholes in the roads and stupid politicians in charge, so Em the Gem immediately felt right at home.
And verily, there lived a handsome and clever goldsmith and he drilled and polished a hole into Em the Gem--just for little 'Fraidy cat.
And she was put in the hole of Em the Gem and suddenly all her prayers were answered.
She was safe at last, as snug as Carbon can be in Beryllium Aluminium Silicate with Chromium.
Em the Gem who was only 2,8mm across was very happy.
He was treated like a king.

And when the kind goldsmith put an 18kt gold tube around him, his happiness was complete.
And they both lived like that for a very long time.
But after a while Em the Gem got tired of 'Fraidy cat's 57 facets.
After all 57 facets aren't many and he just wanted some more manly company.
So he cast around for another friend and soon he met a guy from Silicon di-ox land called Am Bam.
Am Bam was a very handsome Brazilian, and even though he was only 6 mm across, he was articulate and rich and could dance a mean Salsa.
And then Em the Gem discovered that he was bi-sexual and so not long after meeting Am Bam, he and 'Fraidy cat moved into Am Bam's place.
And the nice goldsmith then made a gold house around AM Bam for all them.
And there the threesome all fell in love with each other and they lived happily for a long time, because 'Fraidy cat found out also didn't mind a little silicone-di-oxide on the side now and then!

And this children is the end of part one of the adventures of our intrepid swingers.
Part two is coming soon so don't worry your little hearts even a little bit...........
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