Saturday, June 19, 2010

The First Declaration of Gemstone Rights

The Players:

Spessartite, the Big Cheese

'FraidyCat, Em the Gem and AmBam

The Tang
The first Story can be found Here
The second riveting episode can be found Here
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'Fraidy cat the diamond, EmGem the emerald and AmBam the amethyst were all just hanging out talking about this and that, when Spess the big Cheese spessartite walked into the room.

" Hey Em, do you remember when you were being faceted?" asked Spess.

" For sure, Spess, I doubt that any stone in this world will forget something so wondrous and life changing."

" And you 'Fraidycat? I mean, you're a diamond so your experience was a little different to ours?"

"Spess, me being a diamond doesn't mean I have amnesia. I remember me being cut like it only happened yesterday. Why you asking?"

"Well ok, let me 'splain you. When we were being cut, like, we were attached to a brass dop, right?"

AmBam grinned, " Yeah, 'though I was first cut in half on a diamond saw, then I was stuck to a dop stick."

"Sure AmBam, but all of us were then glued onto a dop stick and then the dop stick was put into the Imahashi faceting tang, right?"

'Fraidy cat sighed, "Spess, where are you going with this?"

"Just hang on, I'll get to the point. Then the tang was set and we were cut first with a diamond lap and water. Then with a finer diamond lap and water and then we were polished with a Polymer lap and chromium oxide and water right? Like water was always there, right?"

"Right " came back the chorus.

"And the tang set all the angles, and did all the divisions and all that stuff. Right?"

"Yes it did, but do you want to get to the point, please," said 'Fraidycat.

"Okay, listen to this...I have just discovered that it was not the tang that cut us...."

"Spess", said AmBam, "I think you been eating some 'shrooms or smoking something. Everyone knows the tang cut us."

"Nope, it didn't."

"Spess" said Em the Gem, "I was there you know, I saw the tang put me on the lap, I saw the tang change angles I felt the tang polish me, and now you say that all I saw was wrong?--- C'mmon dude, what's with you?"

"Well this morning I discovered that it was not the Tang that cut us but an organic entity that was controlling the Tang."

"An organic entity?" asked 'Fraidycat, " you mean something that is not mechanical?"

AmBam burst out laughing, "Oh that's too funny, Spess, you definitely a bit whacked in your silicates. Machines cut stones, not something organic."

" No Am, I am not bullshitting you. Something organic controls the tang, and it is not a machine.
In fact it contains 60% water, and 18% carbon. And here is the kicker--they contains over fifty different elements, much more that we do.

'Fraidycat got this patient tone to her voice, "Spess, being a diamond, I am the last word in carbon. You cannot mix water and diamond together and think it becomes intelligent."

"It's not the same type of carbon, 'cat, but each one has got about 16kg's of carbon in it.
And about 42kg's oxygen and 7 kg's hydrogen and even 2 kg's of nitrogen.
I'm also seriously freaked out about this, but one thing I will tell you, it is not a machine, no way."

"If this is true, are we going to tell the other gemstones"? asked AmBam.

"Dude, it's true, believe me, and I don't think we should tell the others," said Spess. " I don't think that the tourmalines would stand the stress, what with all the tension in them already.

"I agree" said 'Fraidycat, "the pink kunzite will get such a shock she will probably loose all her colour. I mean, she already wets her panties in sunlight, so you can just imagine what will happen if she hears the Tang didn't facet her."

"I got some more bad news", said Spess," and after the silence became unbearable, he said,
"Brace your selves---- The organic entity also owns all of us -- lock, stock and barrel"

"Sweet Mother of Ghia, we are all lost!!!" ----FFFFFuuuuuuuu..!!!!!.

After freaking out, they all calmed down, and it was Spess who eventually brought rationality to our group of gemstones.

"No, I don't think we are all lost, and as I am Spessertite the Big Cheese and leader of this gem box, this is what we will do.
First, we will negotiate for our rights.
We will negotiate for our freedom, for our minority rights, free education, health care and pensions and the right to express our religion.
Then, if all negotiations fail, we will take up arms and fight for our rights. We will not stop untill the last organic entity is killed and we reign supreme."

Post script:

This was duly done and the Declaration of the Gemstone Rights was properly presented to the entity concerned.
It was utterly rejected by the entity and when the call to arms was sounded, he told them all to take a long hike on a short pier.
Then he closed the gem box, put them in the safe and went out for a steak and a couple of beers with his live-in lover.

And thus ended the first gemstone insurrection in recorded history.
Post-post script:
The water based entity sold Spessartite the Big Cheese to a loving person into eternal bondage and now he hangs in prefect cleavage.............
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