Thursday, November 21, 2013

The How I did It Post.

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We start first with the total destruction of this proof coin of fine gold.

 

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And then we turn it into a bar of 18 karat gold.

 

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Then we turn the bar into a flat plate  and at the same time in the mystical magic forest here in Germany we boil and toil and trouble and bubble some 18ct white gold wire.

( OK maybe not in the forests, because it’s frikken cold, but you get the poetic license drift )

Trust me  the Lord of the Rings has nuthin’ on me when it comes to white gold.------ nuthin’…

 

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We banged and bashed the gold into a tube in the swage block and then we soldered it closed with blue fire and gas and other stuff.

 

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And then using a bit of lube, we insert the rod into the tube.

 

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And roll the front down

 

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And then we put it into the Renaissance inquisition stretching machine.

The cries of agony can be heard all over Dusseldorf as we stretch the heretic longer and longer.

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Medieval ball crunching equipment.

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Were were over zealous in our conversion of the heathen and we had some left over.

Never mind, we bent half of him into a circle.

We will deal with the other unvanquished part later, make no mistake about that.

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The white gold safe and snug against the harsh German winter cold, protected by his friend yellow gold.

 

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Then we took a bastard file and filed the heathen  some more.

 

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Meantime, while all this was going on, we were surreptitiously making a house for the aquamarine that I cut ----- nay----  hewed out of a rough and rude and uncouth piece of raw aquamarine dug out of the dark and secret recesses of Mother Earth.

 

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The house, with only the roof waiting to be put on.

 

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And so it came to be that all the pieces were made and forged into one , using the bright blue flame and gas and flux and all that stuff.

 

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‘Twas thus roughly finished off .

And then I applied sharpened tools to the body, and round shiny tools that whirred and spun, and touched the pendant in the most unseemly of places and deviated him in the most resentful of manners.

And changed his sex from male to female.

 

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Slowly we labored  under these dark and dangerous conditions, under bright lights and cold nights until……

Until  a virgin maiden of surreal  mystery and beauty was born to the world.

A bright yellow and warm sun rose that day and bathed and healed the land in its radiance.

And all the birds sang in the trees and all the people ate ice cream cones and quaffed champagne and got drunk and flirted with each other.

 

                                            The End

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PART  TWO OF HOW TO DO THINGS.

Compliments from Imgur

How to draw a Sheep

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Finished.

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