Last week we climbed into Arnold, my Renault jalopy and took ourselves down to the Koln Art show of 2014.
Considering that we have been to Maastricht a couple of times, and knowing that German art in general resembles something a team of meth addled gorillas made in a scrap metal yard, I wasn’t expecting much.
I wasn’t disappointed.
These are old paint tubes stuck on a board.
A roll of canvas with paint squashed in between.
The twat that made this forgot the top left hand corner and no one noticed.
This stand had three pictures in various shades of white.
The sales man was not overworked.
They actually framed these and put them behind glass.
This, if anything, was original.
A dead Chaffinch and some dandelion fluffs all glued onto fishing lines.
These were animal skins that expanded and contracted like balloons.
It was powered by a compressor.
This was the one piece I really enjoyed.
It i s made of one piece of stainless steel, perfectly balanced and a snip at 25,000 EU.
And then there is this.
One piece of flat brass and two pieces of brass wire.
Yours for the low, low price of ----- 115,000 EU.
I kid you not.
And being German, the sales people actively hate you, but hey, that’s standard for Germany in general.
I was generous, so I gave the show a one out of ten rating.
The other day on Ganoksin a poster gave a link to a van Cleef and Arples video that had a cool little tool used for holding a small piece so that azure can be cut easier.
Here is the link.
So I decided to make one.
There and then.
Two pieces of 5mm square iron rod.
Then two pieces of wood glued on the inside.
There you go Sprite!
Now you can hold small pieces of gold without a pair of pliers making dings in your work.
And the wood can be filed to shape, and if you want, leather can also be substituted.
Why didn’t I think of this long ago?